The Indian Hitch. Unfortunately.

I am not really fond of subjecting myself to mental torture of the third degree, but since the circumstances left me no choice, I decided to try and endure it. And see how disastrous the latest flick by 'David Dhawan' really was. And it tipped the scales alright.

You know a film industry is going to the dogs when someone like Sohail Khan (or Arbaaz Khan? Dunno, the uglier one) is passed off as an IIT/IIM graduate. I cringed, as did, I suspect, IIT and IIM grads around the world. To the uninitiated, am talking about David Dhawan's Partner. As if subjecting the audience to the mentally impossible task of picturing a brainy Sohail/Arbaaz Khan, wasnt enough, Mr. Dhawan goes a step further, and two tragical minutes later, a 12 yr old kid makes a fully operational heat seeking missile! The last I checked, that recipe definitely WASNT on the back of my instant noodles packet.

Though Bollywood seems to be making attempts at deviating from the plot ever-so-slightly, it does so in ways, that makes me wonder where the 'Director' of the film was, when God was handing out brains to all mortals. When the journalist is waiting to take a look at 'Love Guru' for the first time, for instance. To make sure she is not the first one to see his face, the director simply projects our journalist as a hopelessly vain, full-of-herself female who cant stand the wait and wants pictures of hers taken instead!

And no matter how it will (not) suit the plot, a child is always thrown into the equation, in every remake. In 'Partner' too, there was the inevitable brat who tries his best to first push 'Prem Uncle' away, and a couple of hopeless dialogues later, is fondly calling him, you guessed it, 'DAD'! There was another cliche, in the form of the stupid gangster, who calls himself Chhota Don. Pur-lease. Is the sense of humour of the Indian public so dry, that except for the rare, once in a blue moon good laugh, the makers of the movie stick to 'tried and tested' jokes?

What was most striking about the movie, and perhaps the most well known of all, is the way its been, if thats the word I am looking for, Xeroxed from the movie 'Hitch'. And by that I mean, that the only scenes that I didnt consider IQ-threatening, were all from the Will Smith starrer minus the class, and Will Smith of course.

I was reading the newspaper the other day (You heard me!) and David Dhawan, it seems, was basking in the glory of his 'Partner'. Wait a minute, 'HIS'? 'HIS'??! The only thing that was 'his' in the movie, was the hopeless dialogues, brain dead humour and a story that would make Chetan Bhagat cry! And am not a fan.

It would be totally understandable, since the directors have shown that they possess the IQ levels of igneous rocks time and again, if Bollywood takes a Leaf out of the Book of their American counterparts. But what the point in borrowing the whole book, drawing lewd pictures in it, crapping on it and then handing it back to them?

And in case you are wondering, no, I definitely DONT 'Want a partner'.